Amish teenage girl'.

Continued... from 'Amish teenage Girl' meeting this Boy in Ohio!!

I'm back with a little bit more of what happens in my life as a ...now 20 year old going to my brothers wedding in Canada,
As I mentioned Joe and his brother Isaac came to KY. in October and November we went to brother Jacob and Anna's wedding, Joe and I got to be a couple sitting with the wedding party as you call it,
And you wouldn't believe what happened the weekend after the wedding, 😁
He asked me if I would marry him!!  Like what!?!?!    I was shocked. 🙈  Although I was thinking we would get married one day but why so quickly?! Well one reason for marriage,, he was 25 already and living by himself (being a bachlor) so I assumed he wanted a wife to cook for him, (ok that's weird thinking but all kinds of things rushed through my mind why I should be ok with getting married, 🙏 As I paused for a few minutes I finally said yes I would!!  I know I didn't show any kind of excitement. Poor guy!! 😜
 But let me tell you what happens to my sister, although I won't take away from her story since she has a blog too and shares her own life, but she ends up seeing Isaac (Joe's Brother) 😍 pretty much the very same time Joe and I started dating.

I know I need to back up and tell you about my 2 sisters just older then my brother Jacob,
Sarah and Emma they married brothers too!! Their men were from our small settlement, so they were able to see each other every other weekend plus at church in-between their date night, and yes we had in home kitchen date nights with a rocking chair and the girl sitting on the boy.  🙈 I know!! I know!!! Embarrassing!!!
 Almost as embarrassing as bed courtship, The Southern states had a rule for no bed courtship while Ohio and up North the rule was they have to practice bed courtship. 😮
 So... when Joe came to see me in KY. We spent the night in the kitchen and when I went to Ohio we would be in the bedroom where I slept.
It all comes down to tradition and man made rules and if we disobey then we get in trouble, and yes there was not supposed to be any sex and yet we girls never got a teaching on that subject other than make sure your dress stays in place.  😳
Before I had joined church my sister was being shunned for some reason but we as non members were not to know why she's not eating with the rest of us at the table but we knew it had to be a church ordered punishment because no one talked about it.
And if we would leave the Amish we were taught that we would go to hell after we die unless we come back to repentance.

Infact I just received a letter this month from my dad (September 9/2017) for my birthday!!
He starts out by saying this...
 Dear precious, I often think of you and you are not in plain clothes as taught & have chosen the style of modern psychology that tends to offer forgiveness without repentance, salvation without regeneration, religion without the Holy Spirit, peace without pain and this all adds up to false peace and hope. Mom went to her grave with sorrows and a broken heart with weeping and I'm weeping with her, she has done her part for you and the time of Christ is nigh.

Kind of a sad birthday letter Dad, but it's ok. Thanks for writing me,  but I did think that you realize by now that I don't live by false hope, I guess I need to come visit you more often. (I do care about you and love you Dad.)
 I'm not living for religion but only for Jesus, He is loving, kind, understanding, caring, gentle, encouraging, forgiving and there's nothing false about Him, He heals my broken heart, I will not to go my grave weeping but rather fully knowing that Jesus has paid the price and all is well with me, and my children will grow up knowing the truth about Jesus instead of religion and condemnation. 💖💖 And Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit to live by. 💖💖

Okay, I really didn't know I'm gonna write all this and talk about my dad when I started,  but it just came out so there you go, 😀 and I'll have to tell you our wedding story later which includes not being able to invite one of my brothers because him and his family were excommunicated. 😔

'Amish Teenage Girl'

Let me tell you how it all went went down in my teenage years,  well let's just start at 17 because that's when I joined the youth Sunday night singings and was hopeful to meet a boy to marry before I become an old maid, 😬
Yeah!!! Once you hit 25 with no boyfriend you are pretty much on a list of becoming an old maid and ... well that life seemed really boring to me and I surely didn't want to be one,
 but in a community with hardly any boys was purtty tuff, I imagined I would most likely find someone out of state in another settlement,
So ... after being chosen  a few times in different weddings as a 'Nava hucker' (brides maid)
in different communities I knew there's hope for marriage if I wanted to settle but I wasn't interested in any of the 3 boys who had chosen me, 🤔
 Mom said I was too picky and I should settle for a boy close by our community to prevent long distance relationship, 🙈🙃
My brother and I went to Canada for a wedding and he saw a girl that he pursuit and ended up marring her the following year ........but let me back up and tell you how my sister Saloma (17) and I (19) got to go to visit our sister Lizzie and her family in Ohio in April by greyhound bus by ourselves and because of no phone/quick communication to let Lizzie's family know that we are coming
 we arrived at West Salem bus stop with no one to pick us up.
We began walking towards the grocery store and met an amish boy walking towards us, I must say he was looking pretty handsome and I liked him but really knew nothing about him other than hearing things through the grapevine that the Schrock boys were rebels! 😜.    Lo and behold this was one of them boys!!! 😎

Saloma and I went on his buggy and he took us to our sisters 🏠.
Next day was Sunday and church for my sister's family and they are in the same church district as the Schrock boys, which meant we will see them at the singing. 😁
What happened next!!!??
Well, well, well!! It so happened that this Schrock boy that gave us a buggy ride on Saturday wanted to see me Sunday night after the singing.!!   I got Butterflies and feelings like I hadn't had before, 🙈
but as it all ended ... Saloma and I stayed 2 more Sundays so this Schrock boy came to see me again the last Sunday of me being in Ohio and his brother came to see my sister.

We went home to Kentucky and with the distance between us and not knowing each other, we just kept writing letters back an forth all summer until October Joe and Isaac came to KY. to see me an my sister and that's when Joe officially ask me to be his girlfriend. 😍
November I went to Canada to my brothers wedding and was bridesmaid with Joe by my side, thinking I'm with the right guy. 💖


 ....to be continued

Living in Kentucky

Continued....  After the funeral, back to Kentucky and nothing to be excited about, until I experienced a newness of life which I wasn't even sure or know about, but one night before I could fall asleep but my sister was sleeping, and I whispered to God that I want to know whether I would go to hell or heaven if I'd die, and He gave me the scripture of John 3:16 and tears of joy came strolling out of my eyes and I felt Joy that I've never felt before,  I knew at that moment I am going to heaven, but would have never dared tell anyone what I've experienced or how I've felt, because they would think I received a weird believe and I'm being deceived by the devil, 😈
and I myself didn't know what happened and why I feel like living again. 💘
But as I wrote letters to friends and family members I would write things about the Lord that I wouldn't​ have before and my parents noticed as the rule was they read our letters before they were sent off, to prevent us from writing bad things. 😵😂
I over heard them (dad's) talking about my letters one evening after they were in bed, yes, I snuck downstairs and sat at the bottom steps to hear them talking.
 I was scared they would talk to me about it but thankfully never did. Weesh!!
 I had a desire to be baptized at that time but I  only turned 16, but I decided to be ok with it, my friend Lizzie was joining church, plus a couple boys, so I decided to go ahead,

Not until I sat in the ordnung church did I realize it's not what I wanted, I didn't want to get baptized for  nothing but rules,
They keep a lot things secret until you join church...then you are allowed to know that people get banned when they disobey in certain things, or they have to confess in front of the whole church when they disobey the rules,
I felt like I've gotten myself into something I'll never be able to undo. 😮
A few months later is when I decided the rules are bogus!! Not for me to live by,
which means a wild girl. 😜
Trouble!! Trouble.

Preacher's in Kentucky!! 🤔
'Amish Stress'
(This is not connected to my last write up but I'll get to that another time, )
When you have such a vivid memory of Preacher's, bra's and underwear then you just got to jod it down. 😊
As you know teenagers, 'well, I've been there but totally in a different world than what my own children are experiencing,

As pops went off to another state to visit relatives for a week or 2 with a greyhound bus, the rest of us were accountable to look out for everything and all the work at home, which my sister and I just loved!!
We would quickly do our chores and pick strawberries or whatever was in season at the time, so That we had some free time to sit at the sewing machine and make something​that Mom would most likely get in trouble for if she'd let us wear, we kept it secret to protect our parents, right!! So we thought. It didn't take very long until Preacher's came to our house to see Mom, claiming my sister and I are wearing bras, 🤔 well we could say they weren't bras because they were homemade tops and didn't look like bras AT. All!!
By that time mom had seen our swiftly sewn tops, and thought there shouldn't be anything wrong with them, 'Relief for us',
But sure nuff, people were talking about us wearing bras and dressing too stylish,
I guess they were staring at our boobs and wanting to see them on our bellies like all mothers. Ugh!!! Not gonna happen, so we kept wearing them 😍 and if I remember right mom ended up showing the preachers what we wore to satisfy their nose.👃
We weren't allowed any elastic in our clothes so that means homemade underwear, Yes, be sure to size them right or else they will end up down by your feet. True!!
Even the guys weren't allowed to wear any under their denims. Sad, I know. 😓
But funny thing is when I got married with a wild boy from Lodi 😂 he was wearing elastic underwear, but always took them to English friends to wash them before we married, so now I had to keep those hidden from all people, and how do I dry them without hanging them out on the line or even in my laundry room? Anyone can bust in your house without knocking, 🤔 how's this going to work??
Talk about stress!! Amish stress.
Let's just leave!! Shall we?
Not so fast, let's take more time. Ok. ⏳

                                         

Moving from Tenn. to Kentucky,  January 1994 

Leaving this beautiful farm we all worked our budd's off for, Why? the question would linger around in my head, Why would we leave a place we worked so hard for and leave all my best friends.?

It didn't seem smart or even right to me at the time, but it didn't matter so much about what I wanted rather then what Dad decides is best for us, I guess I didn't fully get the idea for moving other then its a new settlement in Ky. and usually there's more peace amongst people like that,    We did have some church issues going on in Tn. so i guess moving does make sense, HuH? 

That's the norm when people don't get along they would just move to get away from it, thinking it will be better at the other end.  My dad being a preacher, it was kinda nice to think they would perhaps appreciate him more in a 15 family settlement where they actually need him, 

So we continue with Ura getting married in the fall and the following spring we would move which ended up being first part of Feb.

A dreadful event of our moving auction day, a huge ice storm appeared and it was a miserable time to be moving, none of us kids really wanted to move because of all the friends we already had in Tenn.

 We were leaving all our well known cousins and all the things we've ever known, my last view of my very best friend and cousin Annie was from the living room window and her sitting on their buggy ready to leave for her home, we were only 3 weeks apart in age and always besties, I didn't see her for a few years after we moved and would always write letters back an forth, She got married and i wasn't able to go to her wedding and only seen her once since which didn't end up very exciting but i'll talk more about that later. 

Ura and his wife Rachel stayed living in Tenn.   So that left only 6 of us kids left to move with our parents, and we had to build and start all over again which was actually rather fun but so very exhausting!! 

Dad and 15 year old brother Jacob took a trip to Ky. to have a frolic to build a shop to live in for the time being. 

There was an old barn there which was falling, A big good condition tobacco barn, and a few old riggidy shacks, 

Mom and us 3 older girls started baking cookies, candy, bread and pies and take to town to sell by the road side for an income to our family, we would usually sell about 300.00 worth and that was our main income while building a house and barn, Dad also had beef cattle on the field that we would sell when it was the right time, which also meant we were raising corn and hay for the winter, 

Jacob being the only grown brother meant that one of us girls would always help him in the fields or with chores, i always liked outside work better than in the house except when it came to working in the hot sun, i would take a team of 3 big horses and hitch them onto the plow and enjoy the ride while they seemed to know exactly what to do and i'd have time dreaming about life, such as how it would be if I'd be 17 already going to the singings, who would i get married to? not many boy options available, I figured i'd be getting an out of stater somewhere but had no idea how it would ever come to pass,       

I also became close friends with yet another cousin who had moved in the area before us, her name was Annie also, we were about a year apart in age but we hung out together whenever we had a chance, but as things in the church started getting sticky about some things in Ohio of a boy wanting to be forgiven of a sin he committed and the bishop wasn't ready to receive it, there became arguements about it and caused a split amongst the Swartzentruber church and Annie's parents decided it be best if they move to Ohio and side with the group that the rest of us in Ky. didn't, 

But that's not the hard part, Annie had been having weak spells before they were packing for moving, and they took her to a Dr. to find out what was going on and found out she has leukemia, she was 16 by now and made the decision not to do medical treatment for it, we went to help them move while Annie was so weak she stayed in bed and someone was sitting by her side all the time, 

by the end of  March in 1995 if I remember right, we got the call that she passed away and my parents let me travel with someone by greyhound to be at her funeral,  i really didn't want to live anymore either, life just looked dark and painful, who cares about a future anymore!! ............

....to be continued

Dear Blog,
As I remember all the things my mother made for me, every new dress, every piece of underwear, every meal, every kiddah (laughing) spell she got till tears ran down her cheeks,  every braid in my hair,,even if she hurt me by combing them and me crying, 😣
every song she sang and story she told of her family of 21 siblings, 😫
I miss not hearing from her but I know she is well taken care of.
Therefore I rejoice in being blessed to have her growing up and teaching me valuable things in life, how to live off the land, work hard for money, treat others as you want to be treated, she had a giving heart and gentle spirit, never do I remember her being mad at any of us 14 children that she has given birth to and nurtured so well.

 I've forgiven her for telling me that I would burn forever if I would leave the Amish,
She just had no idea God allows freedom of lifestyle to us,
My eyes were opened and now I am able to teach my children otherwise, even though it breaks a tradition of her desire, I still carry down the good morals to my kids that she has taught me.
 and for having a save home growing up with her is worth more than money can buy.
She passed on to be with the Lord 6 years ago,  Time is going by quickly.

2017

 Christmas and New Years!!

Christmas was an exciting time growing up as we looked forward to receiving a few surprises on the kitchen table Christmas morning, either mom, dad or one of older siblings was to be Santa Claus as we would call it, (even though we didn't believe in Santa) they would set our plates for morning breakfast and fill them with candy and a little surprise of toy,  😊  yes, literally that was all we got but we were as happy as ever,
 And in school as our teacher usually gave out brown paper bags of hard candy, an orange and perhaps a Keychain of some kind, we cherished that candy for sometimes a few months.
    I have lots of treasured memories in the old Tennessee one room school house where I graduated 8th. Grade.
Everything from teachers who whooped our buds with a leather belt for cheating to stealing leftovers from our lunch buckets while we had outside recess, ...
...from fun games with students and best friends to enemies who made fun of every move you made, we had it all!!!!    Don't think low self-esteem isn't created in LIKELY every Amish child around,  we did not get complimented for doing good things, it was expected of us to do good, and if we didn't do it we got put down.    

  Even though I enjoyed my childhood and was very privileged to not go through abuse like some do, I lived in fear of doing something wrong to where I would go to hell when I die,  (as fire) it was ingrained in us that we have to obey the parents at all times and if we don't...we could go to hell unless they find out about it and have the opportunity to punish us before we died then we would be forgiven.

   Anyway.....as we approach a new year again 2017, I'm encouraged and excited to live even a free'r life then ever,😍  
Yes, I still miss family.... especially through the holidays,
 but we are so blessed to be where we are at, that our eyes have been opened to truth,
and being with like minded people from all over and accepting us as family. ❤  We appreciate you all!!!
   We keep learning and growing everyday.

                 Happy New Year!!!!!